“Sincerely, Waiting & Wondering”
Letters From The HFNW Mailbag
My boyfriend and I met online about 4 weeks before he was scheduled to leave for boot camp in the US Navy. I live in Norway, and we have never met in person. We have been together for about 5 months now, and he has started his A school. Before he left for boot camp, I don’t think he knew what to expect, not really and we talked about the future.. getting married, having children. He said then that coming to visit wouldn’t be a problem. Now though, he’s worried he never will, scared he’ll get orders and be deployed. He always talked about wanting to move to Norway, as moving, sadly is not an option for me.
Is this even realistic? Are we fooling ourselves? Any advice is greatly appreciated
Waiting and Wondering
Dear Waiting and Wondering,
Thanks for your question. If you have already been through 5 months of long distance together, that is a great accomplishment as a couple. I met my husband through friends (we were set up), but we didn’t meet in person until after we had emailed for about 5 months as well. I think the key is, how long are you willing to wait? If he is in training, there are no guarantees he will be available to visit you. I don’t know what his exact schedule will be, but after he’s trained he will surely get orders somewhere, and may or may not deploy depending on the schedule.
I think you have to be honest with each other and determine how long you could wait to meet him in person. As tough as it sounds, I don’t advise moving too far forward with future plans until meeting in person. There is something about an in-person connection that you’ll need to see. Of course if you’ve been skyping or facetiming that could help a lot. He definitely could be the one! But you have to evaluate your willingness to wait. How long is his committment to the Navy? I don’t know of any way he could get stationed in Norway, so I don’t think he could move there until his committment is up… which could be several years.
That is so tough and if it’s the right thing, love can overcome many difficult situations! But you have to protect your heart as well and really take an honest look at the situation and what you are willing to sacrifice for someone you’ve never met in person yet.
Hope that helps!
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