How To Combat Fear: Two Stories For Military Wives

by Heather on January 21, 2016

how to combat fear

As a military wife, sometimes I’m afraid that when my husband leaves the house, he won’t be coming back. I have been reading lately all the stories about accidents that happen during military training exercises, and the fears just creep in. Will today be the day that the black car pulls up and the two men in dress blues knock on the door?

Dealing with fear is something that is an ongoing effort. Anxiety and worry can be paralyzing during deployment, especially if we don’t know where they are, what they’re doing and if they’re safe.

I want to share a couple stories from my own personal experience on how to handle fear and why we can trust God with our fears.

Story #1- How To Combat Fear

Back when I became a new Navy wife, I had the opportunity to talk to one of my mentors. She’s like a second mom to me, and has inspired me spiritually throughout my life. She is a wife to a former State Policeman and SWAT team member. Her two sons are former Marines and one is now a policeman.

I asked her one day, “How do you deal with the fear of what could happen to someone you love?”

She told me this: “When you’re doing what God has called you to do, whether it be a military career, police work, staying home with the kids, etc… you’re in the safest place you can be, right where you are. Even in a war zone or just driving down the street, nothing can touch you or the ones you love unless God allows it. He’s not “safer” here at home. He’s as safe as he can possibly be, right in the center of God’s will.”

Hearing that was such a comfort to me. It allowed me to release my fears into God’s hands and trust that hubby’s safety is God’s concern. I still have to process this over and over again at times, when fears pop up and get my imagination running in the wrong direction.

But this truth has given me great peace over the years.

Story #2- God Is Watching Out

Adam did his more dangerous deployments before we met. Of course the military is a high-risk occupation, but even so, I haven’t had to worry too much about him as far as war-zone deployments go, since we’ve been together.

But as a P-3 pilot, he has done air support for Marines during war-time operations, and his plane has been shot at as they did evasive maneuvers. And a bomb hit his building during the middle of the night when he was in Afghanistan.

But all of that was before I ever met him.

I’m not saying I never worried: I’ve still had to learn how to combat fear because fears pop up all the time. But during our four deployments he has been on an aircraft carrier removed from conflict, or land-based in a peaceful place like Japan. He did a short time in Bahrain as well but nothing too crazy was going on there at the time.

So most of the time on deployment, I missed him greatly but I wasn’t overly concerned for his physical safety.

But on one deployment, I was more concerned for his physical safety than I ever had been before.

The Urge To Pray

I had gotten up and hopped in the shower like any other normal day. I was praying but this time, during prayer I felt like God was saying to me, “Pray for Adam’s safety.”

I thought that was kind of odd, but I prayed for him.

After I got out of the shower and got ready for the day (this was before we had a child so my time was my own! Oh the luxury!) I pulled out a prayer book I’d been using. It’s called “The Power of a Praying Wife” by Stormie Omartian.

I didn’t use the book every day, and I had gotten about halfway through. I opened the book to the place I had left off reading, where my bookmark sat. I was stunned to see the topic of the next chapter for me to read: “His Protection”

Ok so then I realized God really was saying something to me about praying for Adam’s safety. I read the chapter and spent some time praying for my husband’s physical safety and protection.

how to combat fear

Later that day, I was able to talk to Adam on the phone. I asked him if everything was ok and if anything weird had happened to him.

He told me that he had a close call while flying that day. Something had come up that caused a lot of concern and could have turned into a very unsafe situation. Though it was dangerous, it ended up not causing any problems and was resolved.

I knew it was not a coincidence that my husband had a hair-raising experience on the day I was led to pray for his safety.

I’m so thankful that God protected Him. I’m in no way taking responsibility for Adam’s safety that day– only God knows what might have happened and God is the one in charge of his safety.

But being called into prayer during that time was a special reminder that God is in control and that He is watching out for us. He does hear our prayers and He allowed me to see a glimpse into His ability to protect the one I love.

This experience bolstered my faith and my ability to rest my fears in God’s capable hands.

1 Peter 5:7 says, “Cast all your anxiety on him (God) because he cares for you.”

Remember that God cares and you can trust Him with your fears!


Here’s the book that I use to pray for my husband:


*this post contains affiliate links

(Visited 841 times)

{ 2 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Kathryn H. January 25, 2016 at 7:21 pm

“When you’re doing what God has called you to do, whether it be a military career, police work, staying home with the kids, etc… you’re in the safest place you can be, right where you are.” — This is so beautiful. Thank you for sharing this and your own stories.


2 Heather February 8, 2016 at 8:27 pm

Thank you Kathryn! I’m so glad it was meaningful to you =) Thanks for reading!


Leave a Comment


Previous post:

Next post: