Military House Hunting And A Happy Marriage (Is That An Oxymoron?)

by Heather on April 22, 2015

house hunting

Military House Hunting And A Happy Marriage
(Is That An Oxymoron?)

I’m sitting here looking at Military By Owner. I check this website all day long and every night, looking for that dream listing. You know, the one that fits the budget and has all the must-haves. Getting it 100% right in the south carolina coast real estate market is a challenge that we all dream of completing, but more often than not we are left waiting for months and months in the search for our dream home.

Is our dream listing even possible to find?

It’s hard to see my friend find a place perfect for them in terrian castle rock because you want it to be you to move first and escape the house search but there’s nothing you can do to help it. Of course I’m happy for them because the place they’re moving to is so gorgeous and I’m looking forward to visiting them but it’s just irritating that I have yet to be so lucky.

Military House Hunting… Again!?!?

Moving is tough. I never expected to be moving in the middle of three year orders. I was so excited to be able to not move for three years.

But we need a bigger yard. And we realized it after we’d signed the lease, but before we arrived. When we were visiting hubby’s Aunt and Uncle, our dog got to play in their huge yard and run herself silly. And P got to play out there too. And I started to think we might have made a mistake.

So when we pulled up to our current home, after an exhausting long cross-country move with a 14 month old, we knew we would be moving. We knew it before the moving truck pulled up, and we thought of every possible way we could avoid moving all the way in and finding another place right away.

But we were stuck. And so, we partially unpacked. Enough to give the moving crates back to the crate rental company and enough to feel somewhat settled, but not the “nesting” I would prefer. All of our art and wall decor still sits wrapped in brown moving paper or still taped up in a picture box.

We have everything we need, and we are grateful. But we are also frustrated. We are ready to get out of here.

Warning: House Hunting Can Stress Your Marriage… A Lot

After looking on base, off base, on a different base, off base again, and on and on… we haven’t decided. LOL. We are in that anxiety-causing, unsettled “looking” phase, the up-and-down roller coaster of house hunting.

This particular house hunting experience is making our marriage stronger… at least I think it is… because we’ve had to process through some things that we haven’t really touched on in our 5 1/2 years of wedded bliss. Things that have caused heated arguments, late night “discussions” and lots of frustration.

Compromise is not as easy as they say on your wedding day… you know, when they encourage you to “fight with your clothes off” and “always put the other person before yourself.” Which of course you promise to do but when the rubber meets the road, it ain’t all it’s cracked up to be. Two people who want their own way does not make for a fun dinner conversation.

Power For The Hour (super cheesy, I know)

However, I learned this: frustration, selfishness, confusion, bitterness, keeping score, misunderstandings and a sense of loss can all lead us to the end of ourselves. And at the end of ourselves, when we have no ability to do the right things (i.e. be kind, compromise, love, forgive) or even desire to do the right things… that’s when God can actually do something in us.

The apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:9-10,

“But he [God] said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”

When we say “I have no ability to change myself, I can’t give up what I want, I don’t even want to…. I can’t love the way I’m called to love. And, by the way, I’m mad. BUT, You, Lord, can change me. And you can fix this mess.” That’s when His power floods in. We find grace. We find our hearts changed. We find other people’s hearts changed. We have the power to live in harmony and love one another. BOOM. Love wins. God is awesome.

And by the way, as God helps us live in harmony, that still doesn’t mean that either of us may be living in the house of our dreams. But we’re in this together.


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