Going Through Tough Times As A Military Spouse Can Make You Stronger

by Heather on September 15, 2013

going through tough times

Going Through Tough Times As A Military Spouse Can Make You Stronger


Deployments, detachments, having no friends, and loneliness are just a few of the trials of being a military wife. But it doesn’t end there. Dealing with bills, paperwork, childcare and all the housework  also causes a lot of stress and frustration. It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re going through tough times! However, difficulties can actually help you in the end by making you a stronger person.

When Going Through Tough Times, We Choose Our Attitude

Sometimes in life we are tested beyond what we think we can handle. When I first got to our current duty station, I had a bad attitude. Adam deployed a few months after we arrived so I didn’t have any close friends yet. It was cold, dark, rainy and depressing. And I let myself have a three-month pity party.

I chose to dwell on negativity such as “this isn’t fair,” “I don’t like this place, “and “I’m lonely.” Instead of dealing with those feelings, I let them consume me. And I was miserable.

After three months, I hit a wall. I realized how miserable I was and that I was bringing it on myself.

I was reminded that I have so much to be thankful for, and I was choosing a rotten attitude. I asked God to help me choose a better one. He helped me snap out of it and realize that I was allowing a difficult situation to control my entire outlook on life. And He gave me the strength to be more positive when going through tough times.

At that point, I still had three months of deployment left. It could have been very discouraging. But those three months were a lot of fun. I still would have rather had my hubby home, but I chose to make the best of it.

Dealing with deployment or facing trials of many kinds can be so tough.

But it’s those experiences that shape us. They can cause us to be bitter if we let them. Or they can make us more wise, more thankful and more loving. And when we get through it, we can be even more excited about how much we have grown.

Military Spouse Tips For Facing Trials

Sometimes, even when we’re trying to be strong, we have to reach out for help. Friends and family may try to help. But often, they don’t understand the military life. Your military spouse friends, spouse’s club and FRG can all be great resources.

Another place to find help is in the military resources out there such as Military One Source, Fleet & Family Services, and the Chaplain’s services. Also, we have a growing community over on Facebook where we share encouragement and talk about military life. I’d love for you to join the conversation over there!

I have used many of those resources for encouragement when I have gone through tough times. I have also found that God always knows what I’m feeling and thinking. He is always there to give wisdom. In fact, he promises to give us wisdom when we ask, if we put our faith in Him.

James 1:2-5 from the Message translation says,

“Consider it a sheer gift, friends, when tests and challenges come at you from all sides. You know that under pressure, your faith-life is forced into the open and shows its true colors. So don’t try to get out of anything prematurely. Let it do its work so you become mature and well developed, not deficient in any way. If you don’t know what you’re doing, pray to the Father. He loves to help. You’ll get help, and you won’t be condescended to when you ask for it.”

Going through tough times makes us stronger. I don’t know if I’ve ever met stronger women than the wonderful military spouses I’ve been blessed to meet. We have to be there for our men and for our families. We don’t get that strength on the day we say “I do,” though. It takes time to gain that strength and comes from experience.

You can make it through whatever you are going through. If you need help, there are many resources out there. Please feel free to leave a comment or question for me on my Facebook page. I’d love to help in whatever way I can.

Much love,

Heather Goffrier

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