The Roller Coaster Ride Of Our Fertility Journey Continues…
Some of you requested to hear the details from my recent doctor’s appointment, so I wanted to make sure and update you on our fertility journey. I had a roller coaster of emotions that day, ranging from extremely discouraged to excited. I’ll fill you on on that and on my new treatment plan!
Image by Instagram user @rollercoaster_expedition
The Drive To The Clinic
On the way to the appointment last Tuesday, I was discouraged about our options. We have had a few failed IUIs over the summer, and then there was the miscarriage in April. We feel that we’re done with IUIs but we don’t feel ready to jump into IVF. It’s a big step and for some reason we don’t feel like we’re quite there yet.
But on the way to the appointment, IVF felt like the only option. So I didn’t feel very hopeful.
So I put on some worship music to try to encourage my spirits and focus on the Lord. One song in particular really hit me. The main phrase was “It’s all about You” with the “you” being God.
It’s all about God.
And that hit me because no matter our desires, circumstances, hopes, dreams, failures… lifting God up and giving Him glory is what life is all about. Because He deserves it, regardless of my circumstances.
I realized that if I don’t have any more children, or if we adopt, or if we have more children with IVF or naturally or whatever, I may not understand the reason, but God will bring about His glory and our good in our situation, through our fertility journey.
So basically what I’m saying is that even if I don’t get what I want… even if my hopes and dreams aren’t realized… God is bringing about his own glory in my life. And that’s what I want, in my spirit. (I don’t always feel that way of course).
I’m not saying I shouldn’t pursue my desires to have more children. I think God can best lead us when we’re walking in faith. But ultimately He’s in charge of the results, so I can put my hope in Him regardless of how things turn out.
The Appointment And Treatment Plan
After hearing that song and having my little “epiphany,” I entered the appointment with a much more encouraged outlook than when I started driving to the clinic.
I had a procedure called a Hydro (saline) sonogram, which means they insert saline into the uterus and then do an ultrasound (Ps I went self-pay on this b/c Tricare does not typically cover this). The purpose is to check out the lining of the uterus and make sure it is healthy, no scar tissue, etc.
The results were great— my uterus is healthy (never thought i’d type that in a blog post haha!) and the doctor even said it’s “gorgeous” which I thought was hilarious. Who knew my uterus was so amazing LOL?!?
So on top of the good news, I also got to speak to the doctor at length for a consultation. This was huge because I thought I would have to schedule another appointment to see her on another day. It was such a relief!
During our chat, she suggested injectables (drugs requiring you give yourself an injection) without doing IVF. I had heard of this before — in fact I did them one cycle in Florida a few years ago. I’ve had friends use this treatment as well, so I’m not sure why I never thought of them as an option for us now.
But as soon as she suggested it, I knew I wanted to do it.
So basically the treatment would be using the same drugs as for IVF, but not overstimulating the eggs as they would in IVF. They carefully watch how the eggs are growing through ultrasound so I don’t become the the next Kate + 8 (heaven forbid!).
(I think if I have octuplets, thought, this whole blog is going to change quite a bit hahaha!)
So I left that appointment feeling hopeful and excited again!
It’s amazing how I could be so down and feeling hopeless one moment, and then two hours later be feeling on top of the world! This whole fertility journey is a definite roller coaster, but my goal is to keep walking forward, seeking God’s wisdom and the doc’s advice, and taking it one day at a time.
ps- thanks for your interest in my story! Let me know if you can relate to this by commenting below, posting on my Facebook page, or shooting me an email. As I’ve been sharing my story, so many people have told me of their own experiences down this road, and it’s helpful to stay connected!