7 Tips For Expressing Your True Self; What’s Your Fashion “Statement”?

by Anderson on February 2, 2014

Expressing Your True Self

7 Tips For Expressing Your True Self; What’s Your Fashion “Statement”?


Does your outer appearance Mask or Mirror who you are? Do you tend to disregard your style or over obsess about it? Today I’ll share 7 tips for expressing your true self so you can feel confident, comfortable AND sexy.

Our Outer Appearance Can Mask Or Mirror Our Insides

Inside Focus

When I was a teenager, I didn’t care about fashion or take much interest in what I wore. I was into sports and wore a ponytail, jeans and a sweatshirt most days. I never wore makeup. I felt like people should like me for who I am on the inside. They shouldn’t judge me on appearance.

Outside Focus

My issue was only focusing on the inside. On the other hand, some women only focus on the outside. You can take this to the extreme. When women can get attention from men or compete with other women via their outward appearance. They wear clothes for that sole purpose and thrive off of the attention, only realizing later that it doesn’t satisfy and leaves them with a shallow expression of who they really are.

Both And

The truth is, both the inside and the outside do matter. It’s not vain to want to be pretty and to put time into your outer appearance. It’s not melodramatic to insist that other people get to know you for who you are and not judge you on a cursory glance. The reality is, how you portray yourself on the outside is a reflection of what’s inside. Expressing your true self is partially done through your outward appearance.

Mask: We can have fears and insecurities that cause us to overcompensate one way or the other. We can have every pin and curl in place, every outfit perfect. Or we can ignore our appearance and just say “who cares.” Both can be ways of hiding what is really going on inside.

Mirror: We can have fun with our outer appearance, finding a style and niche that suites our personalities. We can learn to be confident in our outfit choices and not second-guess ourselves– when we see what other ladies are wearing, we can smile knowing we made choices that were true to who we are. And we can have a sexy confidence that we are beautiful, whether we’re rocking jeans and a white T or a ball gown dressed to the nines.

As a married woman, there’s an appropriate blending of both inner and outer focus. We long for our spouse to love us and think we’re beautiful all the time. We want to be accepted for who we are when we’re in our PJ’s, without makeup and when our hair is all messy. We also want to be seen as gorgeous and sexy when we’re all dressed up for a Military Ball or even on date night.

7 Tips For Expressing Your True Self

As for my personal fashion, it has been a long evolution from baggy sweatshirt and jeans (ask any of my long time friends). I really detest being uncomfortable just to look good. But I have found a lot of fun ways to look and feel sexy and still be super comfy.

My style is still a work in progress, but here are a few things I’ve done along the way to express who I am. I’ve learned to put more effort into my outer appearance without losing myself in the process.

1- Upgrade Your Idea Of “Comfy”

I’ve been working on upgrading my “casual” look for a while now. Not because my hubby has ever said one negative word about what I wear. I just want to put a little more effort into looking cute but I’m committed to staying comfy too! I like the idea of “comfy-sexy.” LOL.

This past deployment, I decided that instead of lounging in my old, oversized basketball sweats that fit my husband, I’d buy a couple of pairs of “sexy sweats” as I called them. I wanted to be comfy but still let hubby see a little shape instead of just baggy sweats. It’s a win-win because I still feel comfortable, and hubby gets some rear-end definition. =) It’s not like I’m wearing a cocktail dress, but he notices the gesture.

2- Toss Out The Potato Sack

Go through your clothes and get rid of the “cozy” items you wear that aren’t very flattering on you. You know, the ones you get lost in that make you look puffy and that hide all sense of shape? That’s not expressing your true self. You are a superstar with a lot to offer, even when you’re curled up watching a movie. The goal is comfy AND cute! So anyway, toss the “blah” and the next time you go to grab loungewear, your choices will be a step up.

3- Be Willing To Try Something Different

A flattering, fitted hoodie can be cuter than a baggie, oversized sweatshirt, but still super comfortable. Tossing an infinity scarf over a plain long-sleeved T adds some pop to a casual look. Boots or even a $15 pair of loafers from DSW are a step up from your Nike tennis shoes. I’m not saying to NEVER wear those other items, but try bumping it up a notch and see how you feel.

OR, if you’re the one who’s always put together, try a casual top and a ball cap. Or be ok running out in your tennies and sweats for once. Because who really cares if they see you!?!?

4- Get Ideas From Others Without Comparing

Magazines, Pinterest, social events and shopping online are all great ways to explore your fashion options. If you want to make changes, do so slowly as your tastes update. Reevaluate your closet but don’t worry if you don’t have the style you want yet. Unless you can go out and spend 5K on a new wardrobe, it’s going to take some time. And on that note…

5- Shop Your Closet

You don’t have to spend money! I recently got a tip from a friend to take out the clothes in my closet and rearrange them into new outfits. I felt like I had a whole new wardrobe and I didn’t spend a dime! Also, I remembered some items that I had forgotten about=)

6- Save (Most Of) The Cleavage For Hubby

Well this is kind of subjective, but if you like to “put it all out there” consider reining it in a bit when you’re not with hubby. By all means have fun, get all dressed up, there’s nothing wrong with that! But there’s something special about keeping the best just for him.

Just remember that you don’t have to impress anyone. I’m not here to be the fashion police. My heart is to remind you that you are precious and beautiful. You don’t have to impress your girlfriends or other men. You don’t have to get physical attention just to be validated. It might make you feel validated briefly, but remember your true value is much deeper than that. It’s in who God created you to be. It’s in your unique, special gifts and talents, everything about you- inside and out- that makes you amazingly beautiful!

7- Get Your Spouse’s Input

Ask your spouse about the styles he likes. I’m not saying to only ever wear what he wants you to wear. That would take away your sense of who YOU are. But I think it’s a great idea to involve your spouse’s interests. I’ve asked my hubby occasionally if there’s anything in my wardrobe he doesn’t like. He’s mentioned one or two things before, and I got rid of them. (If I had been deeply attached to an item, I would have saved it but worn it less often). I’ve also helped him go through his wardrobe and suggested items he could “update” or donate. We like to look good for each other, but it’s not like we plan each others outfits all the time lol.

Our hubbies know us well. They see our inner and outer beauty. They want us to take time for ourselves, so we look and feel our best. And as we all know, men are visual and they enjoy looking at us. Often our spouses can provide good insight into how we can express our awesome personalities in outfits that rock, with only a little effort.

Good luck expressing yourself this week!

Anderson =)

So where are you at on your fashion journey? Have you found your happy place between the extremes? The place where you feel loved for who you are and confident in your own skin, your own sense of style and beauty?

 I’d love to hear. Let me know in the comments below!

(Visited 395 times)

{ 0 comments… add one now }

Leave a Comment


Previous post:

Next post: